Let's Talk About Sex

by Carleton Kendrick Ed.M., LCSW

Do We Have to Talk?

Even though studies show that 80 percent of parents feel responsible for their kids' sexual education, few actually sit down and talk about it. One study reveals that 19 percent of kids get information about sex from their parents, while 81 percent are educated by their friends! With stats like these, it's no wonder that teens suffer from so many misconceptions about sex.

Why do we parents fail to talk about the birds and the bees? Let's face it — the subject makes us feel awkward and anxious. It also forces us to face the fact that our teens have become active sexual beings.

To make matters worse, most of us grew up with parents who wouldn't or couldn't talk to us about sex. We haven't had parenting models for discussing this sensitive issue with our kids. Well, it's time to break the cycle. In order for your kids to make responsible, safe decisions about sex, they're going to need vital information from you. We can help you tackle this tricky topic.

Finding the Words

Does the thought of talking about sex with your teen give you the jitters? Take heart. It's okay to confess this to your child. Most kids are just as uncomfortable as we are. If the idea of one, "big talk" makes you more nervous, consider having several continuing discussions. Do your best to start talking before your adolescent's hormones start to rage.

Since teens are bombarded with and influenced by rarely-protected sex occuring on TV, in the movies, and in the lyrics of popular music, try using the media to launch your talk.

For example, ask your teen if the teenage couple on her favorite show should have had sex. Once you open up lines of communcation, you can bring up unsafe and unwise sex, abstinence, and the consequences of sex with a mere acquaintance.