Real Advice for Talking to Teens About Sex

Our family therapist offers his suggestions for talking to your kids about the seriousness of sexual activity.

Q: My 15-year-old daughter told me that she wanted to go on birth control pills. She said she didn't need my permission and that she could get the pill anyway.

A: I won't preach morality to you regarding your decision to get birth control pills for your daughter. You faced a very difficult decision and consulted a physician to help your daughter in a most responsible manner. Read more...

Q: A lot of kids at my school are having sex. I'm ashamed to admit that I have also. I feel unpure and very dirty. Is there anywhere I can get help without my parents finding out?

A: I'm sorry that you have been introduced to sex in this way. Read more...

Q: My daughter is nearly 19, and she's very involved in church, singing, acting, and other healthy activities. But I'm worried that there's something going on between her and the youth director of our church.

A: Trust your instincts on this one. I see red flags all over the place regarding this man's clearly inappropriate relationship with your daughter. Read more...

Q: My 19-year-old son has told me he has had sex with his girlfriend. How do I communicate to them that if they continue, they must use valid birth control -- but not look like I am giving them my approval for this behavior?

A: Let me begin by saying that you must have developed a fine, trusting relationship over the years with your son. Read more...

Q: How do I deal with my daughter's sexual activity? She's only 15. I'm not able to accept or condone her relationship with a 19-year-old.

A: I don't know what sexual activity of your daughter's is troubling you, but I will respond as if it is intercourse. We all have a very difficult time thinking of our teenagers as sexual beings but they are indeed in the midst of extraordinary sexual awakenings and are facing external pressures to become sexually experienced. Read more...

Q: My son is in seventh grade and just turned 13. He thinks he may be homosexual.

A: During the middle school-age years, kids begin to wrestle with their sexual orientation. Read more...

Q: Our 13-year-old won't listen to us when we approach him on the subject of sex.

A: My guess is that he sees your attempts at discussion as attempts to lecture him on disease and morality. Read more...

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