The 14 Rules of Long-Lasting Relationships

Look to Your Own Faults

Is your partner perfect, then? Mine isn't. I bet yours has got lots of flaws. Do they snore? Are they really messy -- or neurotically tidy? Do they talk too much? Have a short temper? Are they a hopeless cook? Or is it really hard for them to get out of bed to go anywhere? Do they always interrupt when you're talking or do they spend too much time at work?

That's partners for you. They always have their share of faults. You just have to live with it I guess. I know, I know. You've tried talking to them about it, explained how difficult it is to live with, asked them to do something about it. Maybe they've tried, but they're obviously not trying hard enough. Maybe they did for a while and now they've slipped back into their old ways. It's always the same old story, whoever you ask. There's never any shortage of characteristics to moan about.

But wait a minute. If that's true of all partners that means it's true of you and me, too. Yes, that's right, you and I are just as guilty as our partners. There are all those things they tell us irritate them. Do we do anything about it? Of course we don't because they're being unreasonable --- asking us to change our personalities. If they don't like us the way we are, tough. They knew what we were like when they got themselves into this.

Okay, but that has to work both ways. Either we have to accept them the way they are, or we have to do something about all our own faults --- even if we don't personally consider them faults. Or better still, both. We need to set an example by being tolerant of their little quirks and foibles, and by addressing our own.

Next: Be Honorable