|

Expert Iconexpert advice MORE

Is My Son Too Popular?

Toddler and Teenager Expert Advice from Carleton Kendrick, Ed.M., LCSW

Q: My son is very popular; he plays all sports and gets along well with his peers and teachers. On weekends, kids knock on my door all day, asking to play with him. On one hand, I want the kids over here so I can keep track of what's happening (they all love to be at our house). On the other hand, this constant intrusion is frustrating. What can I do?

A: You should be very pleased that your son is faring so well socially, in school, and in his extracurricular activities.

Apparently, your weekend problem is that you do not like to be bothered by all the kids who come by your house looking to play with your son. By the tone of your letter, I assume that they come by your home unannounced. Don't blame your son or make him feel guilty about his peers' weekend visits. You might suggest to him that he could let his regular group of buddies know what his weekend plans are (if he knows them) before the weekend begins, perhaps on Friday night -- phone calls, emails or group Instant Messages would do the trick. You might also ask him to tell his friends to call before they come over to see if he can play with them. But that might produce an equal number of "rings" as "knocks"; you can decide which you prefer. You could also leave a big note on your door indicating where your son is and when he might be returning. If you leave a pencil, the kids can leave notes for your son rather than disturb you.

This situation is only a problem if you treat it as one. I would good-naturedly seek your son's assistance in reducing your need to run wind sprints back and forth to the door on weekends. I'm betting that you can both come up with some creative solutions. I'd also suggest that you try reframing and renaming this "problem" as a positive experience, a natural consequence of your son's social successes. And accept my pat on the back for having a home where kids feel welcomed. Thanks for writing and for being open to seeing things with "different eyes."

More on: Expert Advice

Carleton Kendrick has been in private practice as a family therapist and has worked as a consultant for more than 20 years. He has conducted parenting seminars on topics ranging from how to discipline toddlers to how to stay connected with teenagers. Kendrick has appeared as an expert on national broadcast media such as CBS, Fox Television Network, Cable News Network, CNBC, PBS, and National Public Radio. In addition, he's been quoted in the New York Times, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, USA Today, Reader's Digest, BusinessWeek, Good Housekeeping, Woman's Day, and many other publications.


Please note: This "Expert Advice" area of FamilyEducation.com should be used for general information purposes only. Advice given here is not intended to provide a basis for action in particular circumstances without consideration by a competent professional. Before using this Expert Advice area, please review our General and Medical Disclaimers.

stay connected

Sign up for our free email newsletters and receive the latest advice and information on all things parenting.

Enter your email address to sign up or manage your account.

Facebook icon Twitter icon Follow Us on Pinterest

editor’s picks

highlights

Top 10 Holiday Gifts for Teachers
Offer a genuine "thank you" to your child's teacher halfway through the school year. Give one of these extra-nice holiday gifts for teachers.

Kindergarten Readiness App Wins Gold
Our Kindergarten Readiness app won the Gold Award of Excellence in the educational category at the 2014 Communicator Awards. This valuable checklist comes with games and activities to help your child practice the essential skills she needs for kindergarten. Download the Kindergarten Readiness app today!

Top Family Movies in Theaters for the Holidays
Taking the kids to the movies is a special family treat for the holidays! Don't miss 2014's best family films in theaters from Thanksgiving through Christmas.

Find Today's Newest & Best Children's Books!
Looking for newly released books for your child? Try our new Book Finder tool to search for new books by age, type, and theme, and create reading lists for kids!