When A Kid Blows up at a Ref

by Dr. Michael Simon

What do you do if your child blows up at a ref? Speak to your child before going home, but after the game, when he has had time to cool down and think about the fact that his burst of anger got him ejected.

What to say:
Try saying something like "All athletes get frustrated, and refs sometimes make close, and even bad, calls. But screaming at the ref is unacceptable. It will never get the ref to change his mind. And, as you found out, it can get you ejected. First, go over and apologize to the ref. Then let's talk about better ways to handle your frustrations."

What this accomplishes:
This approach shows your child that you empathize with his feelings of frustration. It also reminds him of the inappropriateness of his actions and the consequences they can have. You're also opening a discussion with him, in which, presumably, he'll express his feelings and you'll offer some suggestions on how he can respond appropriately the next time he gets angry.