|

Top Stepmother Complaints

It helps to know that you're not alone, and it helps to know what biofathers are beefing about, too. Here, then (drum roll, Johnny), are some of the top complaints of stepmothers and their partners, in no particular numerical order. How many match your innermost whining? How many do you hear from your partner?

Top Stepmother Complaints

  1. I do all this work, and nobody seems to care. They walk all over me, and nobody says thank you.
  2. I want a baby, and he's had enough.
  3. Everybody watches me to see how I'm doing. I feel on show all the time.
  4. We fight about money. He makes me feel like a stingy, wicked tightwad while I'm just trying to keep to a budget.
  5. When the kids are here, I feel left out. He dotes on his daughter like she's his lover, not me.
  6. My kids are the ordinary, everyday kids to him. When his kids arrive, he drops everything to dote on them.
  7. There's absolutely no privacy around here.
  8. He expects me to take over and be the mother, to make everything better.
  9. He's so scared that his kids will desert him that he won't discipline them, and he buys them anything they want.
  10. His ex is a big part of our lives. He still takes care of her. I know they're her kids too, but they communicate far too much. I don't want her negative energy in my household.

Top Stepfather Complaints

Stepping Stones

Forget the hours of labor giving birth. You're putting in years of labor to raise your stepkids. Yes, you deserve more credit. No, you may not get it, at least right now. The trick is finding the joy in the work for the work's sake.

Top Biofather Complaints

  1. She knew I had kids before she married me, so why is she complaining now?
  2. She's so judgmental of my fathering and of my kids. They're not perfect. They're kids!
  3. She hates it when I talk with my Ex. I have to—we have to work out details. Besides, we were married for a long time. I don't love her, but she's the mother of my children. Plus, when my wife puts down my Ex, she's insulting my kids, too, and insulting my previous choices.
  4. The kids come over, and she withdraws.
  5. I feel stuck in the middle between her and the kids. I'm always playing mediator, making sure that all sides are okay.
  6. She wants a baby, and I already have kids, responsibilities, and financial problems.
  7. She gets jealous of the kids, the attention I pay to them, and what I buy them.
  8. She tries to be this superwoman. She wants the kids to love her like their own mother, and then when they don't, she's too exhausted to be any good to anybody.
  9. She doesn't support me enough. It's all so hard, and both she and my kids should be more supportive of me.
  10. She just doesn't understand why I parent the way I do, the history between the kids and me, or the feelings I have for my kids.
|

Excerpted from The Complete Idiot's Guide to Stepparenting © 1998 by Ericka Lutz. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Alpha Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

To order this book visit the Idiot's Guide web site or call 1-800-253-6476.


highlights

Special Books for the Kids You Love
Celebrate 20 years of sharing love to the moon and back with the anniversary edition of Guess How Much I Love You, one of the world’s best-loved picture books. Plus, search our Book Finder for more great book picks. Brought to you by Candlewick Press.

Vote Now for the Children's & Teen Choice Book Awards
Voting is open now through May 3 for the Children's and Teen Choice Book Awards — the only national book awards program where the winning author, illustrator, and books of the year are selected by young readers. Encourage your child to vote for his favorites today!

Top 10 Math & Science Apps for Your Whiz Kid
Looking for the best math and science apps for kids? Check out these cool apps for all ages, which will grow your child's love of the STEM subjects (science, technology, engineering, and math).

Registered for Kindergarten — Now What?
Wondering what to do now that you've signed your child up for kindergarten? Try our award-winning Kindergarten Readiness app! This easy-to-use checklist comes with games and activities to help your child build essential skills for kindergarten. Download the Kindergarten Readiness app today!

stay connected

Sign up for our free email newsletters and receive the latest advice and information on all things parenting.

Enter your email address to sign up or manage your account.

Facebook icon Facebook icon Follow Us on Pinterest

editor’s picks