Are You Worried About Your Teen Daughter?
There are worries that are counterproductive for your daughter and that sap you, Mom, of good energy. So here are some things you had best do:
- Stop worrying about situations you have no control over.
- Refrain from expressing excessive worries that could cause a rift between you and your daughter.
- Avoid worrying in a way that tells your daughter you don't think she is capable of handling a situation and thwarts her sense of self.
- Do not express worries that make your daughter uncomfortable or encourage her to be inhibited and feel guilty.
- Tell your daughters that they can curb your worrying with reassurances and a little more time spent on conversing.
How to Curb Your Worries
In addition to methods that will relax you-like worry beads-try this thoughtful three-step method:
- Identify the nature of your worry or thought. Determine precisely what it is you are worrying about.
- Evaluate whether your worry is realistic or unrealistic. Ask yourself whether your worry is helpful, whether any real threat is present, or whether your worrying primarily because of habit.
- If you can't make a determination, gather more information and seek verification-not sympathy-that will reinforce your worries.
In order to gauge how well this method is working when it comes to your daughter, keep a log of your worries and see if your entries decrease over time.
Excerpted from The Complete Idiot's Guide to Mothers and Daughters © 2001 by Rosanne Rosen. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Alpha Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
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