What Is Your Teen Doing on MySpace and Facebook?

by Lindsay Hutton

Facebook. MySpace. Social networking. You've most likely heard these terms from your kids. According to the Pew Internet and American Life Project, 55% of teens ages 12-17 have created an online profile, and 48% visit a social networking site at least once a day, so these terms are becoming part of everyday lingo. However, if you are like most parents, you probably have only the vaguest idea of what these sites are all about. Sure, you know your kids have a "profile," and you may even know your children use these sites to keep in touch with friends. But is that all? Or is there more going on with these "social networking" sites than you realize?

For many kids and teens, the whole idea of having a profile on a social networking site is to keep in touch with friends. The user creates a profile that enables her to invite others to be her friends. Your child is able to add personal information to her profile, and this may include her home address, cell phone number, and pictures. In addition, your child has the opportunity to post her likes, dislikes, and interests. To help users to create their own online identity, most sites have areas for posting favorite television shows, musical preferences, videos, and hobbies. The user also has the ability to send messages, share files, and comment on other users' profiles. Unless certain privacy settings are activated, most networking sites allow anyone to view users' profiles.

These sites also give anyone the ability to invite your child to be an online friend, and some kids and teens make it their goal to add as many friends to their profile as they can, whether or not they know them. Social networking sites give a whole new meaning to the phrase "friends of friends," and for some it becomes a popularity contest. A user may accept friend invites from strangers simply because he wants to add one more friend to his friend list. Once a user is accepted as a friend, he can view anything that may be posted.

This may sound like it's all fun and games, but online networking sites can pose many dangers that children may not recognize. Your child may think he knows someone, but the reality is that the person sitting on the other end of the computer may be a total stranger.

Q: How much time does your child spend on the computer?

1 hour per week.

2-3 hours per week.

4-5 hours per week.

6 plus.

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Fortunately, according to the Pew Internet and American Life Project, 91% of kids and teens who have a profile on a site such as Facebook or MySpace use it only to keep in touch with friends they see in person. Very few teens are using social networking sites to meet new people. While these numbers seem encouraging, they may give your child a false sense of security, leading her to post personal information in her profile. Although the danger of posting personal information on the Web may be obvious to adults, children tend to be naïve about the potential risks. According to i-safe.org, more than half of high school students surveyed have given out personal information to someone they have met only online. If privacy settings are not activated to restrict who can view your child's profile, the Internet connects your child to the whole world. Posting an address or cell phone number increases the risk of a host of dangerous situations. Your child may think he is supplying his phone number in his profile so his friends know how reach him offline, but he may also be supplying his phone number to online predators.

Consider this scenario: Your child receives a friend request from a user claiming to be a friend of a friend. Your child believes him and accepts the invite. This unknown user starts chatting with your child, pretending to be the same age. Your child starts communicating and trusting this new "friend." Perhaps she even begins to trust him so much she agrees to meet him in person, when all along this new "friend" is really a sexual predator twice her age. Although this scenario may seem extreme, it is all too common. According to i-safe.org, 20% of high school students and 19% of middle school students surveyed admitted to meeting face-to-face with someone they knew only from the Internet.

Q: How do you keep your kids safe while online?

Use child-protection software.

Limit time online.

They can take care of themselves.

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So what can be done to keep your kids safe online? Restricting your child from using any social networking site is impractical and perhaps a little excessive. Computers are available almost everywhere now, so an alternative approach would be to educate your child about the potential risks these sites pose, and about how to stay safe when using them. Some simple yet effective ways to let your child safely socialize online include the following:

Carefully select which social networking site your child wants to join. Most social networking sites will allow anybody to create a profile, but most have age restrictions that do not allow anyone under the age of 14 to join. If your teen's sole purpose is to keep in touch with friends, chances are all her friends will be on the same networking site.

Monitor your child's network usage. It is not unreasonable to insist on knowing your child's password for logging onto any social networking site. This will help you keep track of whom she is talking to and the kind of information she is posting on her profile. If you feel this is too invasive, create your own profile and request your child as a friend. That way you can still monitor her profile without being overbearing or nosy. It is also reasonable to set limits on how much time your child spends on the sites each day.

Keep your child's personal information private. There is no need for your child to post his address, phone number, Social Security number, or any other personal information on his profile. Posting personal information makes it easier for online predators to learn your child's identity and to find him offline. If your child is going to post personal information, make sure that he posts only those facts that he is comfortable with everyone knowing. Also remember: Once he posts information online, he can't take it back. Even deleted information may still exist in older versions of the site on others' computers.

Set the privacy settings to restrict access to your child's page. Your child's friends will still be able to access and view her whole profile, but outside users and anyone who is not on her friend list will not.

Reject friend requests from anyone your child does not know. Even if the requestor claims to be a friend of a friend, be wary of anyone your child has never met.

Be wary of strangers who want to meet in person. The simplest solution to this issue is to refuse to let your child meet in person anyone she met online, unless you are present.

Report any suspicious behavior. If you or your child feels threatened by or uncomfortable about something online, report it to the social networking site and, if necessary, to the police.

It's inevitable that your child will be introduced to social networking sites, if he hasn't been already. These sites can be excellent tools for self-expression and for keeping in touch with friends and family. Generally, the risks and dangers these sites pose are minimal. However, it is important to be aware of potential risks, and to know what your child is doing online. Communicate with your child about potential hazards on these sites. By educating your child, you will increase the chances that he will stay safe while cruising the vast world of the Internet. For more tips on teen Internet usage, read advice from our experts.