Home > Teens > Teen Values and Responsibilities > Teens and Money > Daughter Wants Expensive Clothes
|

Expert Iconexpert advice MORE

Daughter Wants Expensive Clothes

Toddler and Teenager Expert Advice from Carleton Kendrick, Ed.M., LCSW

Q: My 17-year-old daughter wants designer clothes and feels sorry for herself when I refuse to buy them for her. I know that it's important for kids to feel "in." I love her and know that she loves me, but I think it's unfair that she keeps sending me on a "guilt trip" when she doesn't get what she wants. I told her that I was going to use tough love: she must simply find a part-time job if she wants these expensive items. If she does not get something from me, she goes to her father. Please give me some guidelines on how to deal with my spoiled daughter.

A: You're making good parenting decisions by purchasing clothing for your daughter with both her preferences and your economic abilities in mind. Feeling sorry for herself if she isn't always dressed in designer labels is her choice. I'm sure that you've made it known to her that anyone who judges her worth by the labels on her clothes is not someone who has their values in order.

She can put you on a "guilt trip" but you don't have to buy a ticket to ride. Declare that her attempts to bribe you emotionally are not worthy of her or you. Your suggestion that she take a part-time job to get the money needed to keep herself in designer clothing is an excellent one. Taking care of your children's needs is your responsibility and it appears that you are doing fine in that department. Please get your husband on the same page with you regarding this issue. He is not teaching her appropriate lessons if he allows himself to be manipulated by her to get the expensive clothes that you won't buy her.

More on: Expert Advice

Carleton Kendrick has been in private practice as a family therapist and has worked as a consultant for more than 20 years. He has conducted parenting seminars on topics ranging from how to discipline toddlers to how to stay connected with teenagers. Kendrick has appeared as an expert on national broadcast media such as CBS, Fox Television Network, Cable News Network, CNBC, PBS, and National Public Radio. In addition, he's been quoted in the New York Times, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, USA Today, Reader's Digest, BusinessWeek, Good Housekeeping, Woman's Day, and many other publications.


Please note: This "Expert Advice" area of FamilyEducation.com should be used for general information purposes only. Advice given here is not intended to provide a basis for action in particular circumstances without consideration by a competent professional. Before using this Expert Advice area, please review our General and Medical Disclaimers.

stay connected

Sign up for our free email newsletters and receive the latest advice and information on all things parenting.

Enter your email address to sign up or manage your account.

Facebook icon Twitter icon Follow Us on Pinterest

editor’s picks

highlights

Gift Ideas Sure to Please
Find the best gifts for girls, and everyone else on your list! Visit our Holiday Shopping Headquarters. Brought to you by Monster High.

Kindergarten Readiness App Wins Gold
Our Kindergarten Readiness app won the Gold Award of Excellence in the educational category at the 2014 Communicator Awards. This valuable checklist comes with games and activities to help your child practice the essential skills she needs for kindergarten. Download the Kindergarten Readiness app today!

Print this free holiday wish list for kids, so they can tell you what they really want this year! Brought to you by Monster High.

Find Today's Newest & Best Children's Books!
Looking for newly released books for your child? Try our new Book Finder tool to search for new books by age, type, and theme, and create reading lists for kids!