|

Expert Iconexpert advice MORE

Teenage Privacy

Toddler and Teenager Expert Advice from Carleton Kendrick, Ed.M., LCSW

Q: Do you think it is an infringement of privacy to require that a 16-year-old have her bedroom door open only when she is not in the room?

Do you think that it is reasonable to expect a 16-year-old to continue to have family household responsiblities despite her busy school and social schedule?

A: I think that a 16-year-old should be able to keep her bedroom door closed at any time she wants. These arguments about room privacy are not about hiding things from parents (although that is certainly a behavior common to teenage years). They are about teens pulling away from the influence, control, and authority of their parents, which is what is supposed to happen as a teen matures. No matter how busy a child is with schoolwork or outside activities, she can be expected to share in family household chores and responsibilities. Some family time management can provide her with choices of chores/duties. Parents also have busy lives and need to find ways to balance work, family, social, and personal pursuits and responsibilities. I am sure you can brainstorm a duties schedule with her that would acknowledge her busy life and her need to help out her family. Be open-minded about negotiating her responsibilities. Don't use guilt or anger in your discussions. You may also wish to consider an allowance incentive for certain jobs. Ron Taffel's"Parenting By Heart" will offer you some insights and practical help in addressing these issues of privacy and household responsibilities.

More on: Expert Advice

Carleton Kendrick has been in private practice as a family therapist and has worked as a consultant for more than 20 years. He has conducted parenting seminars on topics ranging from how to discipline toddlers to how to stay connected with teenagers. Kendrick has appeared as an expert on national broadcast media such as CBS, Fox Television Network, Cable News Network, CNBC, PBS, and National Public Radio. In addition, he's been quoted in the New York Times, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, USA Today, Reader's Digest, BusinessWeek, Good Housekeeping, Woman's Day, and many other publications.


Please note: This "Expert Advice" area of FamilyEducation.com should be used for general information purposes only. Advice given here is not intended to provide a basis for action in particular circumstances without consideration by a competent professional. Before using this Expert Advice area, please review our General and Medical Disclaimers.

stay connected

Sign up for our free email newsletters and receive the latest advice and information on all things parenting.

Enter your email address to sign up or manage your account.

Facebook icon Twitter icon Follow Us on Pinterest

editor’s picks

highlights

Top 10 Group Halloween Costumes for Families
These store-bought and Pinterest-inspired Halloween costume ideas for groups are the perfect way to show off your creative side at your Halloween party or while trick-or-treating.

Kindergarten Readiness App Wins Gold
Our Kindergarten Readiness app won the Gold Award of Excellence in the educational category at the 2014 Communicator Awards. This valuable checklist comes with games and activities to help your child practice the essential skills she needs for kindergarten. Download the Kindergarten Readiness app today!

12 Spine-Tingling Halloween Movies for Teens
Are you looking for a movie with just a little bit of spook-factor for your teen? Check out these 12 spine-tingling Halloween movies!

Find Today's Newest & Best Children's Books!
Looking for newly released books for your child? Try our new Book Finder tool to search for new books by age, type, and theme, and create reading lists for kids!