Q
How important is it to monitor what my 14-year-old daughter wears? She is a very good student, doesn't give us much trouble, and is generally easy to get along with. She does look like she is 17 or 18 and some of the pants and short skirts she wears are revealing. Should we just let her make her own decisions or should we step in?
A
At 14, what she wears brings her a sense of power in creating an identity for herself during this very intense, confusing, hormonally charged time of her life. I have seen my daughter move through the teen years and have experienced the conflicts you mention when it comes to form fitting attire. My advice is not to express concern about her physical presentation of self unless you believe her appearance is deteriorating health-wise. Otherwise, take some pleasure in seeing your daughter as a teen leading a happy productive life, confident of who she is and how she looks.