Home > Teens > Teen Behavior and Discipline > Teenage Behaviors > Preteen and Tween Behavior > Raising Preteens: Realizing How Uncool You Have Become
|

Raising Preteens: Realizing How Uncool You Have Become

Riding the Preteen Roller Coaster

Preteens can be very emotional. Some of this has to do with their uncertainty about growing up, but some of it is strictly physical—they're starting to go through hormonal changes that they do not understand. Your preteen's ups and downs are there for her (or him—boys get them, too) to handle—they sure won't be very much fun for you. The best thing you can do is stand out of the way and wait until your child asks you for help.

The only real way to survive this stage in your child's life is to have begun building good communication much earlier. If you have a good basic relationship, your preteen may push you away but will still turn back to you when she needs your advice, counsel, and involvement. And make no mistake about it: A preteen needs a mother, perhaps more than she needs you at any other stage.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

If you have any doubt that the preteen years are a time of insecurity, just watch your child discover the mirror. In many ways, he is seeing himself for the very first time. He'll spend hours in front of the mirror, looking at every angle of his face, and all the while, he'll be comparing himself to everyone he knows. “Is my nose too big?” he'll worry. “I hate my ears,” she'll moan. This is a time of extreme self-consciousness, and your acceptance is an important reassurance that everything is still fine. Even though your child feels as if he's being turned upside down with changes, you can help him see that he is still the same person, only getting better.

Dealing with Dork-dom

All the while that your child is dealing with these changes, she has definitively demoted you to dork status. What's worse yet, now's the time that you're bound to start feeling like a dork, as the world changes around you. Your child's entry into the preteen years is the first time you'll really have to acknowledge that you're not a kid anymore, yourself. For the first time in your life you'll find yourself looking at clothing and wondering whether it will make you look as though you're trying to be too young. Now's when your supercool daughter can come in decidedly handy: When she tells you, “I'm in junior high, so I know about these things,” you'll be wise to realize she is right. Don't let it make you feel like a has-been—thank her for saving you from looking like one of those moms who always seem to be trying to be too cool.



|

Excerpted from The Complete Idiot's Guide to Motherhood © 1999 by Deborah Levine Herman. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Alpha Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

To order this book visit Amazon's web site or call 1-800-253-6476.


stay connected

Sign up for our free email newsletters and receive the latest advice and information on all things parenting.

Enter your email address to sign up or manage your account.

Facebook icon Twitter icon Follow Us on Pinterest

editor’s picks

jack-o'-lantern creator

Design and print
your own
jack-o’-
lanterns!

GO

highlights

12 Pumpkin Activities and Crafts for Kids
Pumpkins and gourds are perfect for fall fun and games with the kids. Find the best pumpkin activities, crafts, printables, and recipes to enjoy with your children this Halloween season.

Kindergarten Readiness App Wins Gold
Our Kindergarten Readiness app won the Gold Award of Excellence in the educational category at the 2014 Communicator Awards. This valuable checklist comes with games and activities to help your child practice the essential skills she needs for kindergarten. Download the Kindergarten Readiness app today!

15 Best Slow Cooker Meals
Too busy to cook? Try one of these deliciously easy slow cooker meals and have dinner waiting when you get home!

Find Today's Newest & Best Children's Books!
Looking for newly released books for your child? Try our new Book Finder tool to search for new books by age, type, and theme, and create reading lists for kids!