Talking to Kids about War

by Dennis Randall

It's that time of year and my son is asking the question I dread, "What did you do in the war, dad?"

Speaking to your kids about sex is easy compared with talking to them about war.

As a Vietnam Veteran I've always been a bit ambivalent about Memorial Day. I want to honor my comrades who served, suffered, and died in that nasty, miserable war. But I'll be darned if I'll say anything that glorifies war.

What do I tell him? The passion and confusing political rhetoric of 30 years ago makes less sense today than it did then. Do I tell him of the folly, lies, and deceptions of our leaders as they lead us down the road to war? Do I speak of the shameful treatment many veterans received from a public that neither understood or appreciated the sacrifices made?

In the end I tell him that war is a monster behind a mask. War hides its true nature behind a carnival of banners and parades. War is sorrow, slaughter, destruction, and despair. A mountain of medals and monuments changes nothing.

I look my son in the eye and tell him that few wars in history are necessary. Most are mistakes. Sometimes people fight because they want to. But, other times, there is no choice. A world of benevolent souls can't stop a madman bent on destruction -- words and prayers alone will not stop a Hitler or a Pol Pot.

This Memorial Day, we'll walk together again through the cemetery and pay our respects. That night as I watch him sleep, I will pray again that he and his playmates never have to witness, first hand, the true face of war.

More on: Talking with Kids About War