Think Yourself Thin

Can you get to your ideal size by just thinking so? Yes, you can. We know people who have done it. You can give up having a weight issue. Just walk away from it. Adopt the attitude of “been there, done that.” Convince yourself that you are already at your ideal size. How can you do this? By using your mental and emotional resources to make it so. Notice that we didn't say to use willpower and self-discipline. By now you have enough experience with weight loss to know these don't work, so let's take a different approach. We suspect it is one you haven't tried before.

Believing Is Seeing

Never underestimate the power of your mental outlook. Researchers tell us that the brain doesn't distinguish between what you imagine and what is real. Yes, if you imagine that you are at your ideal size, your subconscious doesn't know whether it is fact or fiction. The more you imagine and the more you turn away conflicting thoughts, the closer you get to being effortlessly thin.

People who are naturally thin do not think they are fat. They don't worry about what to eat, when to diet, or how to diet. The thoughts wouldn't cross their minds. Do the same for yourself. Here's how.

Cut Excuses Out of Your Thought Menu

You and only you are totally responsible for the size of your body. It wasn't the advertising that put the food into your mouth. It wasn't anyone else, either. It was only one thing—you. We want you to stop using excuses and take full responsibility for the size of your body. This action empowers you to make the changes necessary to get to your ideal size.

Yes, we mean that mom, the kids, the spouse, the hormones, and on and on are not the real reason you have a weight issue. It was solely how you reacted to your life situations. For example, when Lucy got over the fact that her son had learning disabilities and that she had to deal with the situation rather than eat over it, she was finally able to release the fat. We know this sounds really tough and a bit ruthless, but we also know you want to be your ideal size.

You are in charge. Act in charge of your eating. Be picky and be impolite. After all, it is your body and not anyone else's. You have our permission to be obnoxious if necessary to avoid eating what you don't want or need.

If you find yourself wanting to make excuses for your size, stop mid-word (just like you should stop mid-bite if you were done eating). Then take it back, rephrase it, and say it in such a way that you are responsible and in charge. For example, if you say or even think, “I feel fat today,” reword it and instead say aloud, “I feel thin today.” Turning around your thoughts like this gives you power.

Forgiveness as Weight-Loss Aid

Perhaps you started gaining weight from the stress of a major—or even minor—life event. Such things as divorce or loss of a loved one can trigger overeating for consolation. So can getting older and feeling older.

If you can release the trauma and sadness from such events and the people associated with them, you can often come to terms with overeating. To do this, use the power of forgiveness. Forgiveness is the act of pardoning without harboring grievances. The key to success with forgiveness is persistence, tenacity, and desire.

In virtually every religion in the world, forgiveness is considered to be a highly sacred and spiritual practice. We agree. We also know that forgiveness has great power to heal wounds and release weight. So, if you feel burdened by past life events, as if you are still carrying around their weight, use forgivenesses. Here's how:

First make a list of everyone who was involved in your weight issue. Be sure to include yourself. Then make up some forgivenesses and write them down. Use the formula, “I, (fill in your name), forgive you for (whatever the issue).” Also write forgivenesses for yourself, such as, “I, (fill in your name), forgive myself for (whatever the issue).”

For yourself, you could write the following:

• I forgive myself for overeating.

• I forgive myself for getting older.

• I forgive myself for being overweight.

• I forgive myself for abusing my body with too much food.

• I forgive myself for not exercising.

One client came back to class the next week having begun the forgiveness homework exercise. She told the class that she had written 27 pages of forgivenesses, and she still wasn't finished forgiving her mother. But she said it was really a great feeling.

Although it might sound somewhat shallow to forgive a person so that you can lose weight, well, if you haven't forgiven them already, perhaps it's time. And your weight situation presents a treasured opportunity to let go of past grievances.

We figure it doesn't matter why you forgive. It just matters that you do.

Tell the Truth

Tell the real truth to yourself with compassion about what you eat, how much you eat, when you eat, and if you ate above a 5 or started eating above 0. We have clients who fudge when they record their hunger numbers. Now, just who are they cheating and why? Are they trying to look good to themselves?

We suggest that you use the form that follows to record your hunger numbers and food intake every day, for every meal, every snack, and every nibble. Record everything you put into your mouth except water. Be ruthlessly honest with yourself. That way, you get excellent results. You get the results you want.

Date:

Time	Beginning Hunger #	Item	Amount	Ending Hunger #	Time

Percentage of day I was a thin person in mind and behavior =____%

So typical meals look this way:

Date: 02/02/05

Time	Beginning Hunger #	Item	Amount	Ending Hunger #	Time
8:35 A.M.	0	salmon green apple	card deck size small	5	9:05 A.M.
6:15 P.M.	0	roast beef spinach salad brownie	card deck size bowl small	5	7:00 P.M.

Percentage of day I was a thin person in mind and behavior = 100 %

Notice that you don't need to weigh and measure your food. We aren't asking you to weigh and measure your body, and we certainly aren't going to ask you to weigh and measure your food. Just record what you ate. You know whether it's too much food.

Record your food intake and hunger numbers every day until you are comfortably at your ideal size. You can continue as long as you want. If your jeans ever get tight, record your food intake and hunger numbers until they fit comfortably. We have done this off and on for more than 20 years. You'll find it a great maintenance plan.

Ban Diet Paraphernalia

People who have the mindset of being thin do not keep diet stuff around the house. Let's say that you didn't own a dog, never owned a dog, and didn't have any plans to have a dog. Yet you owned a dog dish, a leash, dog food, and purchased books on raising and breeding dogs. You would appear nuts.

Ditto believing you are thin. Thin people don't have kitchens stocked full of diet and low-cal foods. They don't have large clothes in their closets just in case they regain their weight. All the clothes in their closets fit. They get rid of clothes because they are worn out, soiled, or out of style, not because they don't fit. They don't own dozens of books on weight-loss plans. If they did, they would seem nutty.

Toss out your cache of diet paraphernalia. Give it away. Get it out of your sight. It will mess up your thin thinking to constantly see a food scale on the kitchen counter. Be consistent inside and out with being a thin person.

Ban Fat Thoughts

Stop telling yourself you are fat. Stop saying you are so big that …. Refuse to believe it even when the mirror says otherwise. You could be your own worst enemy when it comes to weight.

When Linda was overweight, she cried about it a lot and constantly talked about her problems with her weight, eating, and food. One day, as her husband was once again drying her tears, he said, “I think things would get a whole lot better if you would just stop telling yourself you're fat.”

Linda, already wounded, said, “So what do you know?” Later she had to apologize when she realized he knew a whole lot.

• She stopped crying about her weight issue.

• She stopped talking about it.

• She stopped commiserating with her fat friends.

• She stopped buying diet foods.

• She stopped telling herself she was fat—and ugly.

• She stopped seeing food as the enemy.

She gained control of her eating and lost weight down to her ideal size.

How High Is Your Desire?

Ask yourself what percentage of the time you are willing to think and act as a thin person. How often are you willing to eat 0 to 5? How often will you eat sensuously and beautifully?

If your answer is about 50 percent of the time, your odds of success are less than 50 percent, more like about 5 percent. However, if you can give it your all, or 100 percent, for as long as it takes, you will definitely get to your ideal size.

But “as long as it takes” is sort of meaningless to schedule in your daily planner. So instead, ask yourself this question every day: “What percentage of my day was I a full participant in being a thin person?” If you had moments that were less than 100 percent, review each situation and ask yourself what you could have done better.

As long as you know deep in your heart that you are thinking and eating as a thin person every day, you absolutely know you will reach your goal.

When Suzie arrived at a luncheon date with a college friend with her hunger number way below 0, she could have eaten the proverbial horse, so to speak. Suzie dove into the white bread and then proceeded to eat all of her lasagna and salad. When she stood up to leave, she was between a 9 and a 10 on the hunger scale. Looking back on her experience, she could have ordered a glass of fruit juice when the waiter first came to the table and then sipped it slowly until her hunger level rose to 0. Then, when the entrée came, she would have had the ability to eat normally—that is, to eat from 0-5.

At the end of each day, ask yourself what percentage of the day you ate and thought as a thin person.

The Naysayers

You've met naysayers before. These people tell you it will never work, that they have tried that method before and it didn't work for them, so why should it work for you?

Beware the naysayers who notice that you are eating differently and try to break your resolve. Others will lecture you on how weight loss really works and will let you know that you are doing it all wrong. Some actually push food on you and insist you eat what they want you to eat.

Maria was obviously overweight and was enjoying an ice cream cone while sitting outside on a bench at a popular neighborhood shopping area. A strange woman approached her, sat down next to her, and said, “Are you sure you should be eating that ice cream cone?” Then she proceeded to tell Maria that she had lost all sorts of weight recently and told her how she did it. Maria just got up and walked away. The nerve of some people. We would like to think that this strange woman had good intentions—but she sure didn't have good boundaries.

How do you handle these people, whether they are doing it for your own best good or not? First and foremost, don't tell just anyone you're on a weight-loss program. Even if people ask, you don't need to tell them everything. If they notice you have lost weight and want to know how, refer them to this book. It's best to avoid a long story with detailed descriptions. Here are some suggestions for handling these pushy people:

• The food pusher. Say one of these two things: “Oh, no thanks, not right now, it looks delicious, but I'm saving room for dinner.” Or say, “I'm just not hungry right now. It looks delicious, perhaps later.”

• The family member food pusher who wants you to eat more dessert or go back for seconds. Put your hand across your tummy and say, “Thanks, your food was wonderful, but I just can't fit in another bite.”

• The “Are you sure you should be eating that?” person. Answer “Absolutely!” and walk away.

• The know-it-all-about-dieting person. Say thanks but no thanks, especially if they aren't at their ideal size. It is best to learn from someone who has already mastered weight, not someone who is still trying to figure it out.

• The fat friend. This one is tough because it is possible you could lose some fat friends along the way if you master your weight. To stay friends, find other mutual interests.

• Any potential naysayer. The less you say, the less they can hurt you.

If you do happen to get in the path of a naysayer, as soon as you escape, be sure to repeat your inner mantra—see the following section—to yourself until any inner turmoil goes away and you get recentered as a thin person.

The Inner Mantra

Directing your thoughts to being thin is really hard. After all, you have years of scripts and self-talk that do anything but affirm your thin self. That's why we recommend you use the ideal size affirmation. This is the only one you need to use.

It goes like this, “I, (insert first name), am now a healthy and thin person. I wear a size (insert desired size), and I do what healthy and thin people do.”

This statement affirms exactly what you want. If the word “thin” for you doesn't mean what it means to us, change it so that you are comfortable. Most often a person will change it to “lean.” But we urge you not to change anything else. For example, don't change it to say, “I deserve to be thin.” That is a lame and actually ineffective affirmation. Our response would be, “So what if you deserve to be thin? Deserving and being are two different things.”

The secret of this affirmation is that it declares you are already there. Yes, you will be shaking things up in your mind. This is good. You will be creating cognitive dissonance in your mind. Since this makes you uncomfortable, your insides will work hard to bring about compliance with your affirmation. Getting to your ideal size will require less and less thought and effort. In fact, you will be amazed at how easy it is to eat 0-5 after a couple months of using the affirmation.

To use the affirmation, say it aloud at least three times in a row three times a day. Yes, you can say it in private. That's a great start. It works even more quickly if you write it. That's right, write the affirmation 10 times every day. Purchase a spiral notebook or a journal and write the affirmation 10 times every day. Do it with meaning and care. At first, parts of your psyche will rebel. Let them. The writing will, over time, convince them that you are indeed a healthy and thin person.

If a situation comes up that challenges you, such as the desire to stress eat or if your favorite donuts show up at work and you aren't at 0, say your affirmation to yourself. Save the donut until you are once again at a 0.

Lucy continued to write her weight-loss affirmation for six months after she had reached her ideal size. She has stayed at her ideal size for more than 20 years. The time spent was a terrific investment.

Affirmations are one of the strongest and most effective tools for achieving your ideal size. We know plenty of people for whom this has worked. We also know people who have met their life's soul mate, improved their vision, and found terrific jobs by using the power of affirmations.

In a sense, you already affirm every day all day long. You have been affirming that you have an overweight body for years. Now change the “CD” and get what you really want.

What Is Your Intention?

Getting to your ideal size once and for all changes your life in many ways. Make sure that you are ready to live with the changes. They can be wonderful, and yet even wonderful changes can be unsettling and might take some time to get used to. To aid you in making those changes, you can use the following intention statements. These are very powerful and can let you make major changes in your weight and your life.

• I am now a size _____ in body, mind, and spirit.

  Getting to your ideal size just in your body without mental and spiritual alignment can make you gain your weight back really fast. When all aspects of you are totally aligned with being and with staying at your ideal size, you will.

• I am happy, comfortable, and safe being at my ideal size.

  For many people, feeling happy, comfortable, and safe at a smaller size can seem impossible. They have built a fortress with their body for protection. Find real ways that you can be happy, comfortable, and safe and not use your body as a fortress.

• I honor my body and its messages.

  This refers to all the body's messages: the need to eat, the need to stop eating, and the needs for sleep, relaxation, exercise, and movement. You may have been taught to ignore the body's signals as an indication of inner strength. Now it's time to learn that a person can't be a good caretaker of the body by ignoring it.

• I love, enjoy, and appreciate my body.

  Perhaps as you were growing up, you were taught that the body is bad. However, we figure that the body is how you get through this life. Without a body, well, you wouldn't be here. We find that when people can love, enjoy, and appreciate their bodies, often overeating as a subtle form of self abuse ends. Most of our weight-loss clients are “body” people. They require lots of physical activity—either passive or active—to feel good, to be creative, and to be happy.

• I honor all of my emotions and use them responsibly.

  Rather than stuffing emotions with food, which is not using emotions responsibly, learn how to use and express them with love. Also, remember to lift your moods with cardio/aerobic exercise to get the endorphin lift.

• I am in harmony with being at my ideal size.

  Be sure that all of the aspects of you can function fully and excellently when you are at your ideal size. If you have a tiny voice inside that is fearful or even alarmed at the thought, talk with that part until you understand the fear and can make changes so that all of you is in harmony.

• I honor my sexual energy and express it appropriately.

  Sexual energy as we use it here is a fabulous life-force power that can be used to enhance all of your life. It is not only about physical intimacy but rather sexual energy in all its forms. Even if you do not have a spouse or lover, you are still expressing sexual energy in how you work, walk, talk, and eat. No, we're not in any way talking about promiscuity. We are talking about being in the flow of joy, abundance, and love.

Make these new ways of thinking a part of your daily life. Think about them, or say them to yourself during idle moments, such as when waiting for the elevator, waiting at a traffic light, or standing in line at the grocery store. You can't overdo them and repetition brings the rewards you desire.