Maintaining Your Ideal Size

Maintaining your weight loss involves many, many aspects of your life. Certainly what and how you eat make a big difference in staying at your ideal size, but how you think and how you live are also important.

You want to be truly finished with being overweight. Permanently. Forever. You don't want any part of your former overweight self hanging around as you live the rest of your life. You want the “new you” to be “the real you” for the rest of your life.

Sometimes formerly overweight individuals constantly fret about food and dieting. They can't seem to let go of the issue. We don't want that to happen with you. When your weight loss is complete, when you reach your ideal size, it's time (with a capital T) for you to bid a fond farewell to your fat self and get on with other, more interesting aspects of life.

The Good-Bye, Fat Self Letter

Write a good-bye letter to your fat self. To sign and seal the deal, write a good old-fashioned “Dear John” letter. Declare to your fat self that the relationship is over—finis!—and that you're starting a new life with your thin self.

Are you ready? Then let's do it. Set aside 15 minutes to a half-hour and, using pen and paper, write your letter. Tell your fat self that you appreciate all it has done for you. Thank it for all of the lessons it presented to you. Acknowledge all the lessons learned along the way.

Tell your fat self that you won't be needing it any longer for protection and padding, that you have found other ways to meet those needs. Then say a fond good-bye and let your fat self go.

Read the letter aloud and, if you want, create a ceremony (such as lighting a candle) to say your formal good-byes. Then release your fat self forever and welcome in your new ideal size.

Your good-bye letter to your fat self should be as personal as possible, but we're including a brief sample to help you get started:

Dear Fat Self,

You're going to find this hard to believe, but it's finally time for us to part ways. Forever. We've been together for __ years, through good times and bad, through thick and, well, not exactly thin. But the relationship is over. I don't plan to be overweight ever again. You taught me a lot about life and about myself. Now I know how to eat and live without you.

You brought me lots of pain, too. Because of you, I've been unhappy. I've been through more clothes sizes than I care to think about. You've made shopping unpleasant. You've made food seem like some evil that I couldn't resist. You've made me cry. You've even made my health worse. I'm tired of it. It's over. I will not—repeat, NOT—be a fat person ever again. I'm much happier at my ideal size. I look better, feel better, and know I'm healthier. I plan to ignore that I ever knew you. So, adios. Sayonara. Auf wiedersehen. Good-bye!

Your good-bye letter can cover very specific issues to which you want to say good-bye. You can itemize the pains you've personally experienced and the past frustrations you've had trying to lose weight. To further solidify letting go of your previous fat self, we recommend that you use the exercise in the next section.

Moving Beyond

Letting go of your fatter self should be easy, shouldn't it? Not necessarily. Even though you didn't like being overweight, it was familiar to you. The truth is, you and your overweight self spent lots of time together. You were, after all, on an intimate first-name basis.

This exercise lets you finally cut the ties that bind you to that old persona. Using the exercise, you'll complete a quick makeover that will put you emotionally, mentally, and spiritually in sync with your ideal size.

The “Moving Beyond” Exercise Steps

Here's how it works. Give yourself a half-hour or more and, with notepad and pen in hand, do the following:

• On the top of the first page write, “Why I am thankful for having had a weight issue.” List what you learned and whatever else comes to mind. List items such as protection, padding, and avoidance of hard choices.

• On the next page write, “What I leave behind with my weight issue.” Save space to list any personality qualities you want to leave behind, along with activities, big-size clothing, relationships, and so on. Be sure to add overeating to the list, as well as telling yourself that you're fat.

• On the third page write, “Who I forgive and why.” Be sure to include yourself. List people you know as well as media figures and magazines that have made you feel bad or have affected your eating behavior. You can even forgive fast-food restaurants for introducing the “supersize” meal!

• On the fourth page write, “What I learned from having a weight issue.” Some of your answers could be duplicates from the preceding lists, but keep on writing everything that comes to mind. For instance, you've now learned how to eat as a thin person, how to master your weight, and how to take good care of yourself.

• On the fifth page write, “What I look forward to as I live at my ideal size.” List your dreams, clothing, health, fitness level, activities, relationships, and career.

Take your time and fill out each page, listing your answers to the questions. Just write what comes to mind. It might take a while, so don't feel rushed. Then set an appointment with yourself for your “moving beyond” ceremony.

The “Moving Beyond” Ceremony

At your “moving beyond” ceremony, you can light candles, burn incense, go to a beautiful location, or do whatever pleases you. Then read your lists aloud and enjoy the feeling of release from your weight issue once and for all. Yes, you can even burn the pages at the end if that will add to your sense of completion.

The ceremony isn't just for show. Our clients who take the time to do the “moving beyond” exercise and ceremony are much more successful at staying at their ideal size. It empowers them to walk away with finality from any attachment they have to their former weightier selves. It solidifies their weight loss and their commitment to a new lighter self.

Part of your ceremony could include giving away overweight clothes to the thrift shop and paring down your wardrobe to fit your ideal size. Resolve never to need fat clothes again.

If Those Jeans Get Tight

If you ever find your jeans getting tight, you must take immediate action. We can't emphasize this enough. Don't procrastinate. Don't get depressed or anxious. Take action. It is a whole lot easier to lose 3 or 4 pounds than to lose 20. By taking immediate action, you should be able to fit into those jeans within 5 to 10 days, maybe by the next weekend!

Gaining a couple of pounds happens to most people from time to time whether or not they were ever overweight. Short-term gain comes from overeating and also with age and stress.

Here's what to do when your clothes feel tight:

1. Start keeping a food diary that lists your beginning and ending hunger numbers. Record everything you put in your mouth except water.

2. Only eat when your stomach hunger number is 0 and stop eating when you're satisfied and before you're full—that is, stop at or below 5.

3. Make sure that you're getting a good balance of high-quality protein, fruits, and vegetables. (We also recommend consuming about two tablespoons of essential fatty acids daily.)

4. Keep up your exercise program. If you have stopped exercising, start again immediately and work up wisely to your former intensity levels of cardio, strength training, and stretching.

5. Consciously eat 0-5.

6. Start writing your affirmations again every day. Write, “I, (fill in your name), am now a naturally healthy and thin person. I wear a size (insert ideal size), and I do what thin people do.” Write this in your notebook 10 times daily.

7. Use the stress reducers listed Simple and Effective Stress Soothers as a way to reduce stress and stop emotional eating.

8. Make note of where you may have gotten off track. Then take positive action to correct your situation.

If you do the preceding, you can expect quick results. Your body at its ideal size has established a new set point, and it wants to stay there. So help it out. It will respond.

Dressing at Your Ideal Size

You're at your ideal size. At last you can wear all those fashionable clothes you've longed to wear. Perhaps you've noticed that people who are at their ideal size often wear different styles of clothing than people who are overweight. You have many more choices now that you've reached your ideal size. You'll never need to wear vertical stripes just because they make you look thinner—you are thinner!

We suggest that you reinforce your commitment to yourself by avoiding “overweight” types of clothes. Take a look at the following lists, and you'll get a sense of the clothing that will show off your new body.

In general, give up wearing these “overweight” clothing styles:

• Big and long shirts, over-blouses and tunics on men and women
• Elastic-stretch waistbands
• Stretch pants designed to accommodate weight gain
• Big, flowing dresses and slacks
• Tent-shaped dresses
• Big, loose, long, and flowing jackets or coats
• Clothing purchased in “big people” shops
• Huge sweatshirts

Instead, you might choose:

• Slacks with leather belts
• Tailored slacks and pantsuits
• Form-fitting stretch jeans
• T-shirts and torso-hugging knits
• Tailored blazers and jackets
• Shirts tucked into slacks or skirts or well-fitted tops over slacks (pass on the tunics and large overblouses)
• Shorter skirts when they're in style (and even when they aren't!)
• Sexy heels and sandals
• Sundresses and evening wear that show some skin

Choose clothing that tastefully and lovingly reveals rather than hides your body. You have done a lot of work to master your weight. It's perfectly fine to show off your success.

The Need for Compassion

You know firsthand the pain and sadness of being overweight. You also know the prejudice and ridicule you endured when you were bigger. So make a firm commitment to never look down on or criticize others who have yet to reach their ideal size. You owe it to yourself and, in a sense, to the world.

No one should have to feel the pain of low self-esteem and prejudicial treatment because of his or her weight. Now that you've mastered your weight, you can be part of the solution, not part of the problem. Here are some suggestions for how to help others:

• Respect the challenges that others still face.

• Never become preachy about losing weight.

• Graciously accept compliments without gloating.

• Offer advice only when asked for it.

• When asked, let people know that they can master their weight.

Because you've mastered getting to your ideal size, you've demonstrated that the epidemic of obesity and being overweight can be solved—one person at a time. You've actually helped make the world a healthier place. If others ask how you mastered your weight issue, by all means share your success story so that you can help them experience the joy and freedom you now have. But be sure to do so graciously and kindly.

Excerpted from The Complete Idiot's Guide to Healthy Weight Loss © 2005 by Lucy Beale and Sandy G. Couvillon. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Alpha Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

To order this book visit the Idiot's Guide web site or call 1-800-253-6476.