Working Mothers: Organizing Your Life

As a working mother you'll be juggling two jobs: your duties at home and at your job. That's a demanding schedule even when you have emotional and financial support from others. Typically, it's inflexible job schedules that create much of the pressure on two-career families. The mutual support so necessary to a good marriage and family becomes more difficult when each partner is overextended. Because everyone has needs, they can be met successfully only by striking the right balance. The best way to deal with the stress you're under is for both of you to learn how to share the responsibilities of your busy life.

Tips for Successful Task-Sharing at Home

1. Identify priorities—First and foremost, you need to identify what tasks take priority and where potential sources of conflict lie. This requires both of you to know the other's schedule by using a family calendar. The keys to success lie in keeping focused and in maintaining a balance between work life and home life.
2. Be organized—For working couples, organization means the difference between function and dysfunction. When you have a system, you avoid wasting precious time and energy. You accomplish more, are more effective, and live an easier life because you're more in control.
3. Keep communication open—Try to keep a constant flow of communication between you, even when busy schedules make that very difficult. Communication is a learned skill. Practice it until it becomes second nature.
4. Negotiate solutions—Discuss how all the duties, baby care, and household chores will be divided. Approach the search for solutions with an open mind. Smooth negotiations are bound to lead to happy outcomes. They may not be the solutions you had expected, but the best interests of your family have been served.
5. Be adaptable—Not only do you need to rearrange priorities now that you're a mother, but you also need to be more adaptable than every before. For example, you both need a short period of relaxation at the end of the workday. Then the pressure of baby care and preparing dinner won't seem as great. You can't do it together, though, when a small, demanding child is around. So take turns on alternate days to read a newspaper or catch forty winks. At least one of you will feel more relaxed every other day. Contentment will be yours when you share the load. You will have broken away from stereotyped roles and will have negotiated new ones.
6. Remember that the tasks you're so busy "getting through" (e.g., eating, bathing, bedtime) are what memories are made of—Become more mindful of the passing moment, instead of trying to push your kids through their days.

Ten Steps to Accomplishing Your Goals at Home
Going back to work as a new mother takes very detailed planning. To be successful both at work and at home, you need to be organized. Getting organized isn't difficult if you approach it one step at a time. Here is a step-by-step plan for keeping organized at home:

1. Analyze the task assignments—Think about whether you're satisfied with the way the work is shared. Work an equitable assignment of functions so that you aren't overwhelmed with the whole job after a long day at work. Eliminate unnecessary tasks and hire out others.
2. Save time by spending a little more money—In the long run, you have only two things to spend-time and money. If you want to save on one, you'll have to spend the other. Therefore, think seriously about buying labor-saving devices; for example, a microwave oven or a dishwasher.
3. Keep a calendar—Use a large wall calendar to keep track of everything on the schedule. Have a short conference each week with your partner to go over the next week's activities.
4. Make lists—Make a list of weekly tasks and cross them off as they're completed. You'll be surprised how well this system brings order out of chaos.
5. Look for shortcuts—Most chores, both at home and at work, lend themselves to shortcuts. Some jobs can be cut down; some can be done less perfectly. Do a general pick-up the night before, and the next day's house-cleaning will be more manageable. To put a twist on a popular business saying-if it ain't dirty, don't clean it.
6. Respect differences—You may have to teach your partner how to do some jobs. But once you've done that, stand back and allow him to do it in his own way. Be generous with praise.
7. Work with small blocks of time—Complete small tasks or nibble away at large jobs in small blocks of time. Learn not to be upset if you have to stop in the middle of something.
8. Be orderly as you do each task—Train yourself to work from left to right and top to bottom. Stand in one place while you're cleaning and do everything within reach before moving on to another position.
9. Learn to do two things at once—Read your baby a story while you're waiting for the wash to finish. Talk to a friend on the phone while you're cooking dinner. Plan your errands so that everything in one neighborhood is done in the same trip. Write a quick note to a friend while waiting for a client.
10. Save time and eat well at work and home—Shop and plan meals that will make you more efficient and increase your leisure hours.

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