Dads and Paternity Leave
by Katy Abel
Buying Time with Kids
For one million dollars, what does Dad want for Father's Day?
A. Monogrammed golf balls
B. Another new tie
C. A box of chocolate cigars
If you're stumped, don't blame Regis, or yourself. In the game called "Who Wants to be a Father?" the choices are unsatisfactory at best, insulting at worst. Turns out that what Dad really wants is... more time with his family.
At least, that's what he says when pollsters and academic researchers come knocking. Trouble is, it's often hard to tell by looking at what Dad does.
The data on paternity leave shows that despite the enactment of federal and state laws allowing men to take parental leave, few actually do. British Prime Minister Tony Blair's recent decision not to "set a public example" by taking leave after the birth of his fourth child -- instead, cutting back on his schedule -- is typical of how men on both sides of the Atlantic handle the birth of a child.
Still, researchers say, it's a mistake to interpret that as a sign that dads care more about their jobs than their kids.
Are Men Afraid?
"The fact is, men do take time off around the birth of a child," says James Levine, director of The Fatherhood Project at the Families and Work Institute in New York. "What they're taking is an average of five days, but they're not utilizing a policy. They're negotiating directly with their boss."
Levine says most new fathers patch together a week of sick days and vacation days, but cultural and economic pressures combine to discourage them from taking an extended leave.
"We're so indoctrinated that work is our life -- we really struggle with that," says Randell Turner, Ph.D., vice president of the National Fatherhood Initiative (www.fatherhood.org), a non-profit group dedicated to promoting the importance of fathers.
"It is rare for us to find a father who is brave enough to take paternity leave. They really feel that there might be repercussions after they come back to work."
Although a recent study (Oxygen/Markle Pulse Poll) found that 72 percent of American women and 63 percent of men believe fathers should take more than two weeks off after the birth or adoption of a child, few companies offer paid paternity leave. The Family and Medical Leave Act allows parents and other caretakers to take up to 12 weeks unpaid leave (from jobs at companies with 50 or more employees), but most parents feel they can't afford the loss of income.
In addition, according to Martin Malin, professor and director of the Institute for Law and the Workplace at Chicago Kent College of Law, the U.S. Labor Department's interpretation of the FMLA allows employers to prohibit men from converting accrued paid sick leave to paternity leave.
While dads aren't looking for a million dollars, researchers say their need for a paycheck prevents them from taking much time off. Conversely, paid-leave policies may convince some reluctant dads to take time off once their wives' maternity-leave benefits have run out, in part, because it saves hundreds or even thousands of dollars in daycare costs.
Proud Papas at Timberland
"I honestly hadn't planned on taking leave," admits Chris H., a sales planner at Timberland, the New Hampshire-based outdoor clothing manufacturer. Fourteen months ago, he and wife Suzanne became the parents of twins, Emily and Zachary. When the nanny they'd hired "fell through," and his wife had exhausted her own maternity leave benefits, the new dad decided to take advantage of Timberland's two-week paid paternity leave. By tacking on unused vacation time, Chris was able to stay home with the twins for one month.
"It was crazy," he recalls. "Far more work than I ever expected. I learned to respect stay-at-home moms because I was just in awe of how much work had to be done."
Chris found hands-on fathering both satisfying and "terrifying." He was thrilled by "the firsts:" the first time his babies rolled over or arched their backs. But he recalls suffering heartburn during his weeks at home, which he attributes to the sheer weight of responsibility of caring for infants.
"Most dads who only spend Saturdays with their kids would ask, 'How'd you do it?'" he recalls. "They didn't ask me if I thought they should take a paternity leave. And I can relate to that because of the expectations that society has put upon us as men."
On the other hand, Timberland Vice President Greg S. found most of his friends were envious when he announced he would make use of the company's paid leave following the births of David, now three, and Sarah, one.
"As the corporate treasurer, I'm working 60 hours a week," Greg says. "It was very difficult to take the time. But it's like, the work's still going to be there tomorrow."
This father used paid leave and accrued personal time to spend close to a month home with his infant daughter.
"She was born with a heart condition, and was in the hospital 10 days," he remembers. "I truly believe there's a bonding aspect to this. If you're there every day, you're bonding as much with the child as the mom."
Unlike many dads, this VP did not fear repercussions, such as the prospect of being "Daddy-tracked," because he took time off.
"It's a part of our corporate culture," Greg believes. "It's not just a benefit offered to grab a headline. Relative to retention and productivity, at the end of the day, you really want to work for the company."
"A Blip on the Radar Screen"
Timberland is one of only a handful of companies offering paid paternity-leave. IBM and Microsoft also give dads two weeks; Merrill Lynch, the insurance giant, offers one week.
"The trend is in the right direction but still very small," says Professor Malin, who has tracked paternity leave policies and practices since the 1980s. His research shows that ongoing "workplace hostility" at many companies still prevents men from actually using the benefit.
"It must be paid and it must be supported at the top," he says. "If men believe (the leave policy) shouldn't be used or 'there goes my career,' they won't take it."
"The 'real politic' on this is that (paid leave for new dads) is probably a bit ahead of the curve in terms of what most of the business community will support right now," agrees James Levine. "But we've got good evidence that when companies do offer it, men start using it."
And "real men" who have taken paternity leave say they want even more time with kids.
"I would love it if you could take paternity leave or maternity leave at different times, not just when kids are newborns," muses Timberland's Chris H. "I'm finding that the older they get, the more bonding goes on. And I can't wait till they're old enough so we can get out and start throwing a ball around."
