Good Rules for Adult Mothering
Okay Mom, your daughter is working her way into fiscal, physical, and emotional independence. Don't get in her way. The same rules apply for moms with daughters who are doing well on their own and for those whose gals are stumbling:
- Do not use dollars and cents to buy attention and devotion.
- Do not try to fund a lifestyle that fits the vision you had of your daughter's future.
- Allow your daughter to make her own blueprint for life that incorporates her lifestyle and identity, not yours.
- Work hard to control your pangs for intervention by achieving a reasonable degree of emotional detachment and physical distance.
- Develop motherly objectivity.
- Offer friendly help and advice when solicited.
- Maintain mother-daughter harmony through discussion, compromise, and problem solving.
- Insist on and show mutual respect for each other.
- Respect your daughter's right to privacy.
- Be cautious about commenting on her love life or making harsh judgments of her lovers.
Excerpted from The Complete Idiot's Guide to Mothers and Daughters © 2001 by Rosanne Rosen. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Alpha Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
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